Let's get physical, physical.......

I was talking to someone last night and weight loss came up. That is a subject that I have a lot to say about.
I am 5 foot and a whisper, (a whisper in this case is 2 inches), and I am NOT at my ideal weight. I haven't been for roughly 15 years. I have been up and down in those years though. Anywhere from 140 to topping off at around 230. Right now I am 180.

Anyway, last night the subject was the difference from being overweight to fat, to being obese. Now technically I am considered obese due to my height and my frame. I have very small frame. I don't consider myself obese right now. I think of myself as fat. The person I was talking to last night said that he didn't think I was fat. He said I was overweight. This is the way I see it.....

I was over weight at around 140. I am fat now that I am 180. I was obese when I was 230. This is how I decided that.....

At 140: I was going out one day and put on a pair of jeans that I had been wearing for YEARS! I was so proud that I was still able to fit in them. Not once thinking that I could because I had been wearing them for so long that they were well worn and stretched out. Oh no..it was because I had kept my shape so well (pfft).
Those jeans were so eighties. They had big metal buttons and the top of the jeans came just under my ribs. When all buttons were..well..buttoned, you would fold the top of the jeans back down.
When I had done that, I got in the car with my husband to do some shopping. He started the car and had turned to say something to me but all of a sudden, all you heard was this strange "ping". We heard it again, and then again, and then again. Before we knew knew it, we were dodging some strange objects that were bouncing around the car. One hit my husband in the middle of his forehead. To my HORROR I realized it was one of my metal buttons. I had popped every single one of them off at such a force that it could have taken one of his eyes out. At that moment I realized I was going to have to admit that I was in fact overweight. Either that or I had one of the oddest super powers ever imagined.

At 230: About three and a half years ago I was sitting on the couch watching TV. My husband comes into the living room and says he wanted to take me and the boys out somewhere. I said okay and went and got my shoes. I put a shoe on, put my foot back on the ground and then bent down to tie it. I swear I blacked out for like five seconds and within those five seconds I saw my Grandma that had been dead since I was five. She was walking towards me carrying a pie. Now that's when it hit me that I was obese. You can't deny that you are if you black out, even if it's for a matter of seconds and you see your dead Grandma with a pie in her hand. And for the record, that was one good looking pie!

Right now at 180: I consider this stage fat because even though I can tie my shoes without having visions of Grandma and I now buy clothes where I can keep my buttons where they should be, I still have limitations. Slight limitations that are more annoying then anything else. The main one being I get too tired from doing everything day things. Laundry, vacuuming...things like that.
Even though right now I am not at the stage where if I died it would be better to set the house on fire then trying to get me out, because of my BMI, I am considered obese.

I have been working out but because of how my sleeping has been I haven't been doing it like I should. My sleep in an entirely different subject but I do believe it's one of the main reasons, if not THE main reason, I have so much trouble keeping the weight off once I get it off.
I actually enjoy working out. I like the way I feel after I do it, no matter how sore I am the next day...which brings me to ask this question... Can you pull an ovary?

The one thing I have learned about being over weight, fat and obese is that you get there by the way you handle your life mentally. There is a reason we put that food in our bodies the way we do. I am the type that doesn't eat hardly at all during the day, but late at night is a different story. Not that I just cram food in my mouth, but what I do eat, I shouldn't be eating. For some reason it just tastes better late at night. I have thought about that a lot and I believe the reason I do that is because during the day is when I have my house "chores". (I hate calling it that because I feel like Laura Ingalls). Then the kids come home from school. Then it's dinner (some times the first real meal of the day), and then I want to catch up on TV and I will have my ice cream or whatever it is I am craving. Because my sleep is so screwed up I stay up for hours and hours and I will get a little snackie and I might have a brownie or even a sandwich. That's actually not a lot of food in the hours I am awake, but that is the problem. My body stores so much because it knows it doesn't get enough because I am not "mobile" enough.
A good sleep habit goes such a long way. The thing that pisses me off about all of that I just wrote is..... I AM TOTALLY AWARE OF THE PROBLEM!!!!!!!

I have had breakfast already and now I am off to slay the dragon that is laundry. After some "chores" are done, (And I kick Nelly Olson's ass), hopefully I can stay awake and have lunch....hopefully.

and I'm still awake because?????????

I can't sleep...again!!!! This has been going on for a while now and it's really annoying. The only thing that helps me is taking a sleeping pill. Usually by the time I am done doing things around the house, for everyone in the house, it's too late for me to take the damn thing. If I took it once I "settled in", I would sleep until around 3 in the afternoon.
I use to love staying up like this when I was younger. My parents would be sound asleep in their room and I would feel like the house was completely mine. If I had a friend over it was even better. It was like we were already grown up and having a "girls night". No rules. Not so fun at the age of 36. Instead of being afraid of my parents waking up because of my friend and I laughing to the point of almost peeing our pants.. I am afraid the kids are going to wake up because the dogs hear a leaf hit one of the garbage cans outside...made of plastic...on the other side of the house.

Right now I am listening to the movie Up in the air with George Clooney. I started out being really into it and then all of a sudden I started making a grocery list in my head....and then I thought... OMG GEORGE CLOONEY IS NOT HOLDING MY ATTENTION!!!!! I can remember when Corey Haim or Kirk Cameron could hold my attention. I am glancing at the very sexy George Clooney and all I could think of was, I need clorox wipes and ant traps. OH! I am glad I am writing this. I also need stain remover for the carpet.
(Glances at the TV) Oh George..... I love ya...but some times you can't compete with heavy traffic areas.